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Happy?
Dec. 6th, 2009 | 07:00 pm
music: Happy- Leona Lewis
Most my life.....It was something i couldn't find.
Shh....
Wanna know a secret? A secret I'm ready to let out?
I've faced depression....for about 3yrs infact.
SHOCKING RIGHT?
noone who knos me would believe it.
I'm the type of girl....that ALWAYS seems happy. No matter what happens. I could be complaining about the worst thing that happened to me, but i'd still have a big smile on my face. People RARELY see me cry. I'm always laughing at something, doing something stupid, always smiling, always being nice and listening.
A few people have seen a realer side of me, a side of me with lots of problems, always confused, always upset, never knowing what to do. It might be a REALER side of me....but thatt's not the real me either. Because even tho they knew my "problems" ....those were never actually my REAL problems....yes those problems do happen to me, the one's you've heard. I'm not saying they were fake. I just blew them out to make it seem like those were a big deal to me....It was just a front.
a BIG front. I mean seriously....do you REALLY think I care about that dumb boy who can't make up his mind? Earrings that were bought? A teacher that's just a straight up jerk?
I can't tell you what my reall problem was. But I WAS depressed. For the longest time. No matter WHAT I did. I couldn't EVER think a SINGLE happy thought about me. And so I lived vicariously, through other people's happiness. But I finally did find happiness, i don't know how or when, all i know is that I'm happy as I am now. I stopped letting those thoughts eatting me out. I finally overcame what hit me the hardest....
Why I'm telling you this now? Because someone had seen through me....someone realized I had been depressed, and I think they had realized I was finally happy too. But people can be cruel.....this person, who I had considered really close to me, used that info, too try and throw me off. The person, tried pulling me back into a depression again....just so I would stop being her friend.
The point of all this? I KNOW what I am. And I'm sorry, if you don't like me. I know i can be annoying, and childish, and loud, and crazy and soo on. But you know what? I can't change anymore. Not for anyone. Those qualities you hate? Whatever it is...They keep me sane, they keep me from eating away my life, they keep me happy. So if you want to get to know the REAL me? You'lll realize that under those qualities you hate....I am an amazing friend. I would listen alll day, console you, give you great advice, make sure you're okay before even beginning to worry bout me. And I'm not going to let you break me down. Ever again.
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The Cookie Jar.
Nov. 11th, 2009 | 12:56 am
location: United States, Princeton
mood: 
amused
You ever hear that song, Cookie Jar by Gym Class Heros? That's my lifee. I can NEVER stop flirting =[ I can't help it! It's so much fun sometimess! But sometimes me and my big dumb flirty self, leads people to believe more then they should bout me....
I think at least 20 people think I'm going to hook up with them! :O :/
But yea. I flirt too much! People even think i'm flirting when i'm NOT trying to!
That's not cool! I don't try, it jus ends up happening. Like yesterday I put up a facebook status like "Screw guys! nobody needs them! =]" Of course all my friends are alll over that, and make fun of me saying i could never give up on flirting. Later this one guy notices the status, and starts convincing me to hook up with him...
Even my parents think i'm a flirt =[.
I go to shoprite with my dad. And the cash register happens to be an old friend of mine, that i hadnt seen in years. I kno my dad wouldnt approve of me talking to guys cuz hes all straight up desii and he already thinks i flirt to much. Plus this guy had tattoos now, nd my dad thought i only knew him through my brother. So when we amusingly/flirty smile and wave @ each other. My dad of course flips out after we leve the store. "WHY DO U HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR BROTHERS FRIENDS?!?!?" he didnt wanna believe tht i knew the kid first...... =[
SO apperently i'm actually pretty, and guys actually wanna hook up wit me..........but then why does the guy I like have too be a good, anti dating muslim? =[ I'm muslim too, and I'm eanti dating kind of? but =[ THE ONE GUY I LIKE I CANT HAVEE
FML
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(no subject)
Oct. 29th, 2009 | 08:04 pm
location: United States, New Jersey, Vineland
To Read or Not to Read
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well, let's see.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.
I'm adding a rule for my own list that includes strikeouts for books I've started and refuse to finish. 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 1984 - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
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Who needs hormones?
Oct. 4th, 2009 | 02:36 pm
location: the la-la land.
mood: 
cynical
Those tiny little things that you can't even see.
Yet they affect our every aspect of life. We would alll be poor if we didn't have hormones
ya know?
The mOvIeS wouldn't selll at all if we didn't have hormones to appreciate the cheesy romance..
Noone would ReAd, if there wasn't any romance.
Those pesky things are everywhere......whyy do we need them?
SO i have a ton of them :[. And i'm always in trouble because of them, and i just want them to GO AWAY.
like POOF and dissapear.
SO why does everyone want a facebook also?
See my dad had to go and make one, thanks to my uncle who told him that he could stalk us. My dad has had a facebook for about a year now.
SO WHY, PLEASE TELL.. does he have to figure out how to use it NOW?
ok, so he wants to check up on me. He goes to my page. Ok Ok, hes a parent that's what he does. but see a NORMAL parent will see. "h00k3R sh0es." and stop right there.
.....but not my dad. NOPE he ignores it. and keeps scrolling down. til he sees what he wants.
an old status, that clearly explains that i have a crush. :[
oh and he COMMENTS on it, to tell me "stop talking to this guy immediatly"
Now he's completely avoiding me.
STUPID HORMONES :[
